Saturday, April 4, 2009

Prince wants to see Salma's crrrazy underwears, asks her infant to help.

In case you haven't paid the super reasonable price of $77 to become a member of the Purple One's new(ish) website, or picked up a copy of his new album(s) at your local Target for $11.98 (Prince's music economics 101: punish downloaders and reward retail consumers), perhaps you aren't aware of Prince's latest gem of a tune, "Valentina." I hadn't heard it yet, since he only streams like, three songs on his mind fuck of a flash site. But, thanks to Jody Rosen at Slate, it was brought to my attention and I have to get my hands on it, ASAP. It's no big deal, really, just a creepy ode to my favorite wet nurse, Salma Hayek. Sample lyrics:

"Hey Valentina tell your mama/ She should give me a call/ When she get tired of runnin'/ After you down the hall/ And she's all worn out/ From those late-night feedings."

And yes, the title of the song is the name of Hayek's baby girl and yes he shouts out Hayek's bff too:

"If Penélope wants to Cruz/ There ain't no way that we ain't gon' dance."

I'm sorry, what?

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